Don't run from your emotions. They'll eat you whole.
Project Diagnosis
Last year, I enrolled in Mrs.Jacksons' creative writing class. Not only did I learn a thing or two about writing stories and creating characters, but I also learned that writing is a very enjoyable process for me when I work at my own pace. I definitely knew that the class wouldn't be the end of my writing journey.
I knew from the get-go that I wanted one of my Apollo projects to be centered around creative writing. I had a few different ideas, but I wanted to take this project in a different direction from my past Apollo projects. I wanted it to be more writing centered and deviate from the trend of just focusing purely on an interest of mine. Trying to shoehorn in my interests was one of the things I pinpointed as taking away from my projects in the past.
The project couldn't be just be purely creative writing about a generic story. I wanted to explore creative writing as an emotional outlet. What do I mean by this? Well, I wanted to explore what it's like to literally express emotion through creative writing. I wrote about an emotional experience through a creative writing piece along with a double exposure poem about my depression.
Firstly, let's analyze the poem. Double exposure poems are a poem that also works as three poems. Every odd numbered line reads a coherent poem, as does every even numbered line as well as both together. Mr.Ward, the Apollo English teacher, introduced me to this type and I immediately latched onto it. The format allowed for a comparison of rational thoughts and irrational thoughts brought on by depression.
The poem focuses on an experience of mine that occurs on a regular basis; feeling distant and left out of the other football managers' friend group, along with anxiety caused by the sound of the flute. I found this to be a good subject for the poem, as this causes a moral debate in my head. The poem is titled "Those Wednesday Nights". Enjoy:
I wrote each poem individually first. First came the rational thoughts.
Then I wrote the irrational thoughts brought on by a decline in my mood.
Lastly, the two just needed to fit together. Aside from making sure it all made sense, I changed certain tenses and clunky phrases to allow the poem to flow nicely.
Next, I had to pick something to write about. Now, out of all the emotional experiences in my life, what could I write about? I went through several options.
Here's a mind map I made to draft ideas. I learned about mind maps in creative writing, ironically enough.
I ended up deciding on my girlfriend, Dillan (who prefers to be referred to as a he or they) as he is a big part of my life. With tons of possibilities and ideas for a piece on Dillan himself, I made another mind map.
Mind maps are a good way to get the gears in your head rolling.
The bubble map in the lower half of the image is the idea I ended up going with. Not only did my schools' Homecoming just recently pass by, but I felt as if I could get the most mileage out of this setting and subject. The goal was never to make a master writing piece, but to simply express an experience from an emotional perspective.
I have picked up a set writing pattern from my creative writing class of the past. First, I just get the idea down into a story. I write what happens, go back and tweak what happens at certain parts to my liking and leave the piece alone. I have to digest it after that. Then, usually the day after, I add most of the details. What does the environment look like? How does that make the character feel? What are they feeling in general? That is what I usually try to write.
After that, I just make sure everything is coherent. I go back and check for spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and conventional hiccups. In general, professional writing and even writing as a hobby would be more thorough than this. I will discuss this more in the conclusion.
My personal final step is to come up with a title. I find it easier to devise a title at the very end, as you have a good idea of what your piece is and what is represents then.
A link to my final writing piece is below. I titled it "Get Over Yourself". Enjoy:
Last but not least, we have the Art portion of my project. No, I didn't forget about it!
While creative writing itself is an art form, that itself is not enough. Mr.Grandi, the Apollo art teacher, and I set up an assignment for me to execute. He wished for me to write a creative piece responding to an art piece meant to evoke emotion in the viewer. So I did just that, and I decided on sadness. I chose sadness as that is the emotion that drove me to make this project. There was tons of art to pick from under the search of "art that conveys sadness" alone. I ended up choosing this piece:
It is a basic representation of sadness, but nevertheless it does an excellent job. I followed my usual writing pattern to draft a piece titled "Why Are You Still Alive?", which can be read below. Enjoy:
This wraps up my project! I have a strong reflection on this project to make. Some personal issues did bog me down during the creative process, as well as editing these pieces. It slowed the work process down and made it tough to just haul through my Apollo class periods sometimes. In summary, I feel as if this project had more potential than what I churned out. My schedule, only being able to come in one period a day and two the next with limited time to work outside of class, did not help either. I still am happy with my pieces on an emotional level. (No pun intended)
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